"Santa: (to Stewie)... and what can I bring YOU this year?
Stewie: Oh, a peace offering is it... Very well, let's say you trim those gin soaked whiskers and bring me some plutonium!
Santa: Well, can you be a good boy?
Stewie: Hmm... Your inquiry intrigues me. Can any of us be a good boy? Are our primal urges innate or the result of the choices we make?
Santa: OhhK, wrap it up kid...
Stewie: All right Kringle, if the reward is plutonium than your wager is accepted. I will be... nice.
Santa: Good boy. Now, smile for the camera!
Stewie: Yes, yes smile... like a good boy..."- Family Guy
"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity,
is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." -V for Vendetta
"It's the state that makes the personal political by interfering in private lives. We must choose between the quiet suffering of such punishment alone and the exhaustion and pain of publicly opposing it. Activism sometimes allows such deep healing that it is therapeutic--and the only escape from the paralysis of shame." -Public Sex by Pat Califia
"A good scene doesn't end with orgasm--it ends with catharsis." -Pat Califia
"Monogamy has nothing to do with morality. If sexual exclusivity were an ethical issue, it would be an individual choice. Has anybody ever said to you, 'I'm monogamous, and my lover isn't, so we both do what we feel is right?' Of course not, because monogamy is about controlling the other person's behavior--social control, not self-control." -Pat Califia
"Your girlfriend is a hatstand and my mattress smelled of swamp!" -Arthur Dent, H2G2
"Leave now before I set about you with this plaster rhinoceros!" -Save the Dolphins Guy, H2G2
"I'm bursting with fluffy pink bunny love"- Collin the security robot, H2G2
"This is complete pants!" -Random, H2G2
"Lord, Lord, Lord... (it's best to put that bit in, just in case. You can never be too sure)...
Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know.
Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know.
Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen." -The Old Man on a Pole, H2G2
"Lord, Lord, Lord...
Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer." -The Old Man on a Pole, H2G2
"According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, there are rules that determine the reaction of most life-forms to emerging technologies. (1) Anything that is in your world when you're born is normal and ordinary, and is just a natural part of the way things work. (2) Anything that's invented in the first third of your lifespan is new and exciting and revolutionary, and you can probably get a career in it. (3) Anything invented once you are middle-aged is against the natural order of things." -The Guide, H2G2
"My heart is a kaleidoscope!" -Moonlight Densetsu (Sailor Moon Theme Song)
"You think cooking is a cute job, like Mommy in the kitchen? Well, Mommy never had to face the dinner rush when the orders come flooding in, and every dish is different and none are simple, and all of the different cooking times, but must arrive on the customer's table at exactly the same time, hot and perfect! Every second counts, and you cannot be Mommy!" -Colette (Ratatouille)
"I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy." -Jeff Portnoy (Tropic Thunder)
"Dear Myself... I love his smile. So, I want him always to be smiling. Don't you agree?" -Hirofumi Mizui (Dear Myself)
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." -Uguay (Kung Fu Panda)
"Engineering: Where the noble, semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompa's of science." -Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)
"Penny: I'm a Sagitarious, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes. It tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow effects your personality." -(The Big Bang Theory)
"My muse is a fickle bitch with a very short attention span!" -Sander Cohen (Bioshock)
"Faye: Which one are you?!
Ren: I am both at once and I am neither one." -Jupiter Jazz Part I (Cowboy Bebop)
"There's nothing more pure and cruel as a child." -Jet Black, Pierrot Le Fou (Cowboy Bebop)
"Fucking doughnut! Mock me? You fried cyclops!" -Happy Noodle Boy
"Someday, you have to love the abstract as much as you love the condition of addiction." -Ramtha (What the #$*! Do We Know)
"It is difficult enough being transgendered without throwing sexual orientation into the mix. I am on the fringe of society by being transgendered, on the fringe of transgendered community by being homosexual and on the fringe of that community by being transgendered. Would that be considered fringe cubed? What about my identity as both lesbian and gay? What happens when leather gets thrown into the mix? The mathematics boggle the mind." -Trans Liberation by Leslie Feinberg
"Each individual still needs to overcome the bigotry that has been instilled in us from an early age. A gay man does not necessarily see the need to fight sexism automatically; a white transperson doesn't automatically see the need to fight racism. But the progressive momentum inherent in movements offers a greater potential for individuals to gain an understanding of the struggles of others" -Trans Liberation by Leslie Feinberg
"Stewie: Women, Brian. What a royal pain in the ass. It’s like-it’s like- why can’t you hang out with guys, you know? Just live with someone of your own sex. Just do what you would do with a women, but with your buddy, you know? Why don’t guys just do that?
Brian: They do. It’s called being gay.
Stewie: Oh, that’s what gay is? Oh yeah, I could totally get into that." -Family Guy
"You're like a spoon full of whoop ass!" -Grace, Will & Grace
"But you know what's the most wonderful thing about New York? It's where everyone comes to get fucked. It's one of the last places where people are still willing to bend over to let in the new. And the old. New Yorkers are, permeable. You know what I mean? Therefore, we're sane. Consequently, we're the target of the impermeable. And the insane. And of course, New York is where everyone comes to be forgiven. What've you done wrong? Tell me. How have you sinned? I'm sure it's nothing serious. Well, I'm sure you did your best. But imagine if you grew up here, like I did. Home can be very unforgiving. It's true. People said I didn't do enough to help prevent the AIDS crisis, because I was in the closet. That's not true. I did the best I could. I was scared. And impermeable. Everybody knew so little then. I know even less now." -Ex-mayor of NYC, Shortbus
"'Godfather?' sputtered Uncle Vernon. 'You haven't got a godfather!'
'Yes, I have,' said Harry brightly. 'He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy...'
And, grinning broadly at the look of horror on Uncle Vernon's face, Harry set off toward the station exit, Hedwig rattling along in front of him, for what looked like a much better summer than the last.'" -Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
"Dragoon (Councilman 8): We were musicians then...
Red Mantel (Concilman 3): I was! You just kind of talk-singed.
Dragoon: I was accidentally creating hip-hop!" -Venture Bros., 401-The Revenge Society
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